BomberBlitz: Talk us through the “Simon Madden” story (in 50 words or less!)
Simon Madden: laughs umm… started young, finished old, and enjoyed all that happened in between!
BB: well done!! So where did you start playing?
SM: At St Christopher’s, in Airport West… well, I played for them on the weekends, and during the week at school – St Bernards. Then at 16 I started playing for Essendon
BB: And the rest, as they say…
SM: is history!

BB: When you and Justin used to play backyard footy, which players did you pretend to be?
SM: Royce Hart – a friend said I was a big left footer like him…. Peter Daniels, who I actually ended up playing with! His marking was terrific… I remember being 13 or 14, at Windy Hill, in the big mob of people down behind the goals, and a pack formed in the goal square, right in front of me. He got up on top of the pack, and was about to mark the ball, but realised it would go through for a goal, so bent out of the way to let it through. Incredible. Also Billy Ryan, who was another great mark. Different players from different eras!

BB: Peter (Coach from St Christopher days) says Hi from Perth!
SM: Really? surprised and pleased
BB: He is still as passionate as ever about Essendon, and still has an amazing insight and left of centre ideas about football. I never forget the stories, and how he used to rave on about this Madden kid when he got home from the footy on Saturdays. Is it true that you liked your sleep, and would turn up to the odd game without your boots?
SM: grins it is true that I liked my sleep! And got to the game as late as possible. Don’t think I ever forgot my boots though…. Socks and shorts, yes, but not the boots!

BB: When did you realize that you could actually make it into the VFL?
SM: It was my under 15’s coach, George Agis. He said to us “What do you want to do? What are your goals?” Then he turned to me and said “Simon, I reckon you could play VFL.” And I went oh, really? I was only 14 and it was the first time I’d entertained the idea.

BB: No 1 ruckman at the age of 19…. Very scary concept! Can you remember your response when the club first told you?
SM: I was lucky – I’d had three years under Moss, sitting in the forward pocket. So when he left, they said right, it’s you now, and I said, ok, let’s have a go! And it was ok… I won the B&F that year, but the last 4 or 5 games were really hard.

BB: What would you consider the highlight of your career?
SM: 84 and 85. Without thinking! Definitely those two years

BB: Who was your toughest opponent and toughest team mate?
SM: Team mate – Ron Andrews, closely followed by Roger Merrett, and…. Terry Daniher. Opposition – well, there were a few, at different times… Carl Ditterich, Don Scott… Jeff Sarau.. Whale Roberts, Gary Dempsey, Mick Nolan.

BB: The next question isn’t really a question, more a comment – “Just passing on a message to Simon: Let him know that God wants his skills back.”
SM: grins thank you!

BB: Do you ever feel you missed out unfairly on a Brownlow, after being so close so many times?
SM: Well… naturally I’d love to have one. But realistically there are a lot of greats that haven’t. And I got close!
BB: It’s one of the only medals you didn’t win!
SM: Um… I’ve heard people say that… thinks I suppose so!

BB: “Mary, I just want to pass on a message. I said to you a week ago that I was going up to the milk bar for some bread and milk. Sorry. I lied to you. I’m actually on the footy trip [Germany] with the boys.” How much did you cop it when you got home?
SM: laughs that was a spur of the moment thing… I just looked at the camera and said that! Luckily she has a sense of humour. Would have been in real trouble if it had been true!

BB: How close were you to going to Sydney at the end of 1985?
SM: Very close. But there were a whole range of things I had to take into account. It wasn’t just blind loyalty to the club, although I do like the idea of playing a career with the one club. If I wasn’t married and didn’t have kids, maybe I would have gone. But I had a family to think about, and we’d just won two premierships. And although what was on offer was tempting, but what is offered and what you actually got were two different things!

BB: Was your libido effected by having to wear shorts with a Don’s Smallgoods logo on them?
SM: laughs it was false advertising!! still laughing Actually we went to Europe, and I was wearing the tracksuit top that had the logo on them, and an American we met kept laughing, saying he couldn’t believe I’d go out wearing that!

BB: Which bomber did you like roving to you most?
SM: There were so many great ones. Andy Wilson, Daisy Williams, Tim Watson. Buhagiar. Ezard. Neagle, Hawker, Baker, Clarke.

BB: If you weren’t the worst fighter in the world (see the start of the ’85 GF for proof) who would you really liked to have belted?
SM: grins Well, I was never suspended. Reported, yes, but not suspended. But anyone who played that many games and say they didn’t hit anyone are lying! Who would I like to have belted…. Well, let’s just say I got to hit the ones I wanted to!

BB: What was it like being named ruckman for Essendon’s Team of the Century?
SM: Fantastic. Always happy to be named in great company!

BB: We see many modern rucks going in for clean up surgery at the end of seasons – how are your shoulders now and how did you cope back when you were playing? Do you have any other aches and pains from your footy days?
SM: Shoulders are good. Knees are okay, and back is average. I did a lot of weights to maintain strength, which is important in the ruck – the opponents bounce off more easily if you’ve got good muscle tone.

BB: What do you think is the key to longevity in the game?
SM: Not getting injured! grins And maybe there’s something genetic – both Justin and I played over 300 games each. The main thing is to be smart with training – do the work that needs to be done, and build up muscle tone. I did weights, did some boxing too… put on 3 stone over the time I was playing

*Editor’s note – for those unfamiliar with imperial measurements, 3 stone is around 19kg!

BB: How much work was it being President of the VFL (AFL) PA? Was there anything you were particularly proud of in that role?
SM: It was hard, because it was a part time role. And all players really wanted to do was just turn up and play footy. But we were successful in negotiating a standard player contract – one hadn’t existed prior to that. It was the first time anyone had sat down and negotiated an official document between the players and the League.

BB: What’s your viewpoint on rule changes for Aussie Rules? Are there any particular rule changes lately that you like/dislike?
SM: I have some issues with the rules for ruckmen
BB: You have previously put forward a model around that issue haven’t you? Making a bigger circle and removing the centre line?
SM: That’s right. At the moment, with the rucks forced to run towards each other, when they hit, the knee can be forced backwards, which is when the cruciate injuries happen. Doesn’t happen as much around the ground, where they jostle with each other rather than run at each other. By removing the centre line they’d be able to change and come in at different angles. Obviously that’s why they’ve made it a fairly small circle, to try and reduce the impact. But as time goes on, the blokes are starting to get used to it, and there will still be those injury concerns. I’m not sure about the playing on after a point is scored either; they’re running the risk of making the games too fast.

BB: Fame and privacy – being the height you are, it’s kind of difficult to go unnoticed anyway! But what are some of the experiences you’ve had, good and bad, that are due to people recognising you?
SM: Most people are good! You get the odd occasion though, usually with someone drunk, that decides they’re going to tell you how to play footy! There was one occasion, in…. 2002…. so ten years after I stopped playing. I was working in Smith St in Fitzroy (we were on the Fitzroy side of the street, not the Collingwood side!) and it was lunch time, so I was walking along. This bloke,
on a bike, was coming in the opposite direction, and our eyes met. As he passed me, he said something, well, filthy. I just ignored it and kept walking. As he got to the corner he yelled something else out, equally filthy. Well, I was laughing that hard, I had to head back to the office. You know you’ve left your mark when, ten years AFTER you’ve retired, some guy on a bike still wants to yell abuse at you! But being in Melbourne, people are always going to remember footballers. How much you want to go along with that is up to you. You can seek it out, use it to your advantage, or you can choose to be more private.

BB: There’s been a little bit of talk around about how great your brother was, and that he was even better than you. How good do you think he was really…?
SM: laughs Justin…. Well, he played 332 games – the same number as Leigh Matthews. So for a bloke that couldn’t run, kick mark or handball, he did pretty well!! laughs again No, look, he was a very good footballer – to play over 300 games you have to have been. But naturally I don’t ever tell him that!

BB: How is your son Josh coming along at St Bernards? Has coaching at that level stirred up any interest in coaching at AFL level?
SM: Josh has been playing well, enjoying his footy, and showing some good signs. As for coaching – well, I’ll be coaching at St Bernards next year, and don’t know after that! But I don’t know if I could handle the frustration of AFL.

BB: How did you feel when Matthew Lloyd beat your record against the Dogs 2003?
SM: Well… how many hitouts did he get in that time? laughs Seriously though, it’s fitting that a full forward should hold the goal kicking record. Although I wonder what would have happened if Sheeds had left me up there for my entire career – maybe I would have kicked 1500!! grins

BB: Is there anyone on the list you can see getting even close to your games record?
SM: With the way that the game is played now, and the career span of footballers now, I doubt it. Don’t think the opportunity will arise.

BB: How do you think Essendon’s ruck stocks are looking at the moment?
SM: Good – fairly raw and immature, apart from Dave Hille, who’s doing really well. Ryder is very raw, but will be very good, as could Laycock, if he could overcome his injuries.

BB: Would you like to come back as Essendon ruck coach, if that were possible? If not, would you recommend Essendon approach Sammy Newman? Which other former ruckmen do you think would make good ruck coaches?
SM: I enjoyed being ruck coach while I was there, but wanted to be my own coach. Sam was a great coach for me, because I got the concepts he was teaching me – I don’t know if everyone would though! Other former ruckmen…. Scott Wynd would be good… Justin…. Gary Dempsey… any of the long serving rucks. Back when I was started, I basically went hard, and hoped. Now, rucks have more control. I had an advantage over some of the other rucks of my time though, in that although I was left handed, I jumped off my right foot – most of the others go up with the same hand as the foot they’re going off. That happened because I used to do high jump, and every time it was my turn to jump, they’d have to move the bag over because I was the only one jumping off the left. In the end I just said “leave it!” and I adapted to jumping off my right!

BB: Do you think that we could win another premiership in 5 years?
SM: Yes. Although it’s a big ask – the League only wants teams to win once every 16 years. Next year will be a good measure – don’t worry about this year – look at the team next year, with all the players back on the park. I really liked what some of the younger players showed this year, but next year will be the measure.

BB: Do you still wear the red shorts?
SM: grins no, I think one of the best things Sheeds ever did was to get rid of them!

BB: Do you think that it would be appropriate in Heritage Round games, if in addition to wearing red shorts, our players grew beards and the trainers brought out cans of VB instead of sports drinks?
SM: laughs Fantastic! Make it a real heritage game. All players should have to have shoulder length hair, and grow straggly beards. Socks down, ankle taping done over the top of the socks…. And VB’s after the game! No smoking though, like Vander used to, I’m a non smoker now!

BB: Are you ever going to grow the beard back?
SM: I’ve got it sitting in the top shelf of the cupboard at home… and am considering bringing it out for Heritage Round next year!

BB: Do you miss hosting the Windy Hill Footy Show? Are you likely to make a triumphant return to it?
SM: Never say never! At present, no. But it was very good fun.

BB: Rate the Mazda 6 on a scale of 1 to 10.
SM: Oh, 10, because I could fit in it! It was one of the major reasons why I bought it!

BB: Whatever happened to the old Kombi?
SM: It died a painful death. I treated it with disrespect for years, then I sold it to a friend of Mary’s niece, who fixed it up… then the motor caught on fire, and that was that!

BB: Do you still have the words to the “played with every son” song?
SM: I actually think I do! They’d be in a box in the attic somewhere… if I looked for them, I’d probably find them!

BB: Why do drums sound discernibly 80s when they were recorded in the 80s?
SM: Because they were real drums, not techno reproductions!

BB: Why are Israel and Lebanon at war with each other?
SM: They have been forever and will continue to be. If they can never see eye to eye, how can that ever change?

BB: Is time cyclical or linear? Are LG messing with the fabric of space and time by creating a mobile phone that can transport the user to the 1920s?
SM: laughs oh, that’s magnificent! Can you please read that again?
BB: repeats question
SM: still laughing Well, time is neither, it’s three dimensional… and don’t worry about the phone, the trip will be too expensive!

BB: Do you think porcupines are underrated as a species?
SM: That’s a rather pointed question….
BB: groan
SM: laughs no, I’d choose an echidna over a porcupine any time!

BB: What was the last book you read? Do you usually have a book on the go?
SM: Yes, I usually have at least one. At the moment I’m reading The Kite Runner, about a boy growing up in Afghanistan.

BB: Are you a cinnamon, iced or jam centred type donut man?
SM: oooh… a pink iced donut with cinnamon on top and jam in the side!

BB: If you could hold a Guinness World Record, what would it be for?
SM: Richest man would be nice! And following on from that, then the most philanthropic man.

BB: What music do you listen to?
SM: Lots – I’m a very eclectic listener. There’s not really anything I don’t listen to, as long as it’s not bad music! Some rap is good, but some isn’t… some classical is good….. At the moment, it’s Sandi Thom, “I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker with Flowers in My Hair”

BB: What would the “Simon Madden” theme song be?
SM: thinks probably “I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker with Flowers in My Hair”!!

BB: If someone made a film of your life, who would you like to play the lead role?
SM: Me of course! There’s no-one with a big enough dimple in their chin, and Kirk Douglas is too old!

BB: Three words to describe yourself?
SM: Big… in a number of ways – height, laughter…. Jovial…. And out going!

BB: What is your favourite colour M&M?
SM: I’m not a big wrap for M&M’s! I’m more a Jelly Baby man!
BB: laughing ok, what colour Jelly Baby!
SM: grins Red!

BB: Do you think milk should be added to instant coffee prior to boiling water or after?
SM: Always after

BB: Shorts or pants man?
SM: Well…. shorts for summer, pants for winter!!

BB: Shoes or thongs?
SM: Shoes… I have ugly feet!

Word associations!

James Hird – Great
State of Origin – Bring back
Mark Harvey – Blonde!
Club records – Mine!
Hawthorn – Great opponents
Dick Reynolds – Legend
Teachers – Noble
Geoffrey Edelsten – Strange and wonderful man!
The Phantom – Brilliant!
Guitars – Necessary
Tim Watson – Almost a legend!
Kevin Sheedy – The master of a whole range of things!

BB: Thanks Simon!
SM: You’re welcome!